So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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