can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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