the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
