you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
