I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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