it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize