fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
