A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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