no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
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