and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
