I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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