butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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