tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
