The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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