11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
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you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
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Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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