i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
