Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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