but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
tell me about the fingering
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