dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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