i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
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i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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