i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
