He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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