it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
So vagazzling was a success
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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