I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
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I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
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He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
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