I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
