Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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