I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
