i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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