He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
