How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
