my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
