She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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