other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
