tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Dick very happy bro
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