put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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