Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I wear drunk well.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
