Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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