im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
