How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
