At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
She tied me up with her honor cords...
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
