It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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