Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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