I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
