why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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