they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
