I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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