I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
