is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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