HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
