I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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