the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
