Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize