Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize