I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I think my moral compass just broke
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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