I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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