mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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