Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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