ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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