I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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