the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
